Blaqbarby

So the other day I watched the man-tastistic comedy film “Old School” for the first time. Yeah, I know I’m late. If you haven’t seen it, the movie, featuring Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, and Vince Vaughn, is about a group of 30+ guys reliving their college years by creating a fraternity in campus housing, dedicated solely to alcoholic consumption and sexual nonsense (hmmm, strikingly similar to actual frat houses I’ve heard of). The film is completely hilarious and clearly not meant to be thought provoking in the slightest…but for some reason one of the scenes got a hold of one of my thoughts, and it became provoked.

In one scene, Vince Vaughn’s character is having a flirtatious conversation with what seems to be a sophomore undergrad. She leans over and kisses him and he reluctantly pulls away, apologetically explaining his marital and parental obligations.  Basically saying he wishes he could, but he can’t.  This scene struck me.  It was clear he really wanted something to happen…isn’t that bad enough?  This is not nearly the first time  that a movie has depicted men in relationships as helpless prisoners longing for sexual freedom.  I feel like if you want to cheat so bad, it’s the same as actually doing it right??

Well, here is a text conversation between a girl and a guy that came out of this enigma of fidelty.  (Whoever said you couldn’t have deep conversations over text?)…Tell me what you think.

Girl:  Is wanting to cheat the same as cheating?

Guy:  Good question.  I think it depends on the want.  I dunno…what makes you ask that?

Girl:  I’m watching Old School

Guy:  I mean, just cause you are in a relationship, that won’t make everyone else in the world ugly or undesirable, so I think it’s situational.

Girl:  If u had a girl in an intimate setting alone and she was attractive, and she leaned in and kissed u, but after the kiss u told her u had a girlfriend.  Are u wrong or right?

Guy:  You’re wrong for being in the intimate setting first, and You’re even more wrong for kissing.

Girl:  So say you’re back home, and you go to your female friends b day party, but she just broke up with her bf and doesn’t wanna be around all those people.  U walk in on her in the back room and see she’s crying and u offer a shoulder.  U talk, she feels comforted, and she kisses u.  Are u wrong for wanting the kiss even though u stop her after and tell her u have a gf?

Guy:  First off she knows i have a girlfriend.  Secondly, I’m talking about you all night anyway.  Third if I had to be that friend that was doing the consoling for her I would back from the kiss and leave, but I choose my friends better than that so the situation isn’t realistic.

Girl:  The question was are you wrong for WANTING it?

Guy: At that point I wouldn’t want it anyway, only low lifes and losers want a rebound kiss from a crying girl…but if I must keep going with your scenario and I did want the kiss, that would be wrong.  First i would have known all night that i would have wanted to kiss her cause the shit doesn’t just spring up on you when you see a girl crying.  So really the most wrong move would have been to just go in the room alone, because that’s the first step in acting out this “want”.

 Girl: So is wanting to cheat just as bad as cheating?  Is wanting to cheat worth breaking up over?

Guy: Yes, wanting to cheat is worth breaking up over because a want means you’ll prolly do it.  There is a difference between wanting to cheat and saying “well, if i was single i would”. The latter is ok, the first is not.

Girl: Hmmm, that’s complicated because i would think that “if you were single” you would want to find the woman you are with and not just kiss some otehr random girl.  The whole “if i were single” seems to harken back to better days when you did what you wanted to do and not felt guilty…. Thus the only difference the relationship poses in the situation is the feeling of guilt that ensues… but the desire remains the same right?

Guy: No, the desire should lessen.

Girl: But not cease to exist? And if it does still exist, is it the relationship that must cease?

Guy: I dont know, that’s a tough question.